i will not make anymore boring art

view from the bedroom

This post title comes from this John Baldessari lithograph. I felt like expanding a little bit more on this post from my tumblr. If you don't feel like clicking the link, it's cool. I'm not offended. I'll explain the gist of it: basically, when I was just starting out taking photographs (2004-05), my photography teacher told me that my second roll of film was boring. I would ask him for advice on what to print so I wouldn't waste paper (super expensive!) and he was brutally honest: "These are boring." I don't even want to share what he used to tell some people during their critiques my junior and senior years. Yeesh. But his brutal honesty didn't diminish my enthusiasm for photography. It pushed me to prove him wrong. During my junior and senior critiques (every six weeks >_<), he would sometimes say he wanted less quantity, more quality. Push push push. Sometimes, he wouldn't say anything at all, which terrified me. In my research workbook, though, he'd write some pretty encouraging things. I felt like I proved that my work was not boring.
These days, I'm the biggest critic of my work. I have his voice in my head, saying,"These are boring," and I try to push myself to not be boring. Life can be funny sometimes how some comments can motivate you and others break you. I just happened to turn his words into something to motivate me to be better, grow, experiment, and always keep shooting. Why am I writing all of this, you may be asking yourself. I don't think I've been pushing myself hard enough. I haven't done planned shoots for a while. I have an event I'm covering for my brother coming up and I'm also going to be doing video. I'm trying not to freak out with all the responsibility being placed on my shoulders. I'm trying to turn the anxiety into energy that is useful to me, rather than worrying about worst case scenarios. I've done this before, I can do it again. This ain't my first time at the rodeo.

don't shoot
third ward sarah
chicago stoop
all photos are film. black and white with 35mm Kodak TMAX400, developed and printed by me. color with FUJIFILM 800, shipped out for processing. all shot with Pentax K1000 between 2004-07

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