reflecting

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I'm still lacking direction here, but I just wanted to say that no matter what, I will be here to stay. Given the state of the world, the proposed cuts to the arts, I feel as though keeping a photography/writing/art based page can serve a greater good. I'm reminded of a few words of wise advice:

support artists and the arts. they want us to stop dreaming and more importantly, artists have always led that fight and need your support now more than ever before.


Now more than ever, it is important to create and think and dream. For those with anxious minds, we're constantly running our brains. The running can turn into tangible things and coherent ideas. Never stop thinking and dreaming.


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confusion

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Confusion-- Merriam Webster defines it as "a situation in which people are uncertain about what to do or are unable to understand something clearly." Here's what I'm confused about-- what to use this space for anymore. I hardly read blogs anymore. The only reason I'm reaching out here is because I don't know what to do with this space. I'm confused as to its purpose anymore. I'm confused by the state of the world. I'm tempted to utilize this space to explore that confusion. What does anyone else care? I don't even know if anyone reads this or checks up on here. I haven't updated in two months and in the time before that, it was a while. I don't really know why I keep this around. Should I let it go?

I suppose my issue is with letting it go, but I could archive anything here, I suppose. Disappear from the "blogosphere." I'm kind of disturbed the word blogosphere is a word at all that my computer recognizes. I'm mostly thinking out loud, but if anyone is actually reading- what should I do? I suppose I won't waste time/space here contemplating things, but I guess I can think about why I began blogging. Do I want to continue blogging? Who will actually read my words? Hence, confusion.

peeking from behind the curtain

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Damn. When did it become 2017? I suppose this is as good a time as any to resurrect this space. Some changes will be in order, I think. It'll be a mess, but what else is new? I get married this year. October 21st, to be exact. It's a little bit more real now that we're in the same year it'll be happening. I kind of stopped taking photographs outside of an official capacity. No personal projects going or in the works. I haven't really been immersed in the world of images and that's weird because for the last fifteen or so years of my life, I have been deeply immersed in photography constantly. Always framing, always planning. I'm putting a lot of energy towards another hobby, which is fine, but I think the head space that normally was dedicated to photography and image making is being dedicated to this new endeavor. I'm seeking balance this year.

I want to work on personal projects again. I want to work with film and play with light, colors, shadows. It felt good to feel myself begin to frame things again, but now I just need to execute and not think, just do. New years bring about resolutions that tend to fall by the wayside. By the end of one year, especially last year, we're exhausted and ready to move on to something better. There's this hope with every new year that some people scoff at or look down upon cynically. That's fine and their prerogative, but hope is a beautiful thing. I'm gonna bask in that beauty.


change

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I last published something here in April. That's a long time. A lot has happened over the past few months. It all has culminated into me sitting here, writing these words. Exciting, right? I began to contemplate this post last night before I fell asleep. The purpose of this blog has shifted so many times over its existence. I wonder if I'll ever find its true direction. But then again, hasn't it been serving its purpose all along? It's been a little space in this vast world wide web that I have carved out for myself to document change. Change within myself, change within my work, change within the world. Change. Change can be difficult, change can be painful. There is a trick to change. Do you know it? A wise woman once told me,"Change should happen so slowly, you don't even notice it."


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the skies will know

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There comes a time in one's life where you can't see past what's in front of you. Planning my future has always given me anxiety. I can't think too far ahead or I start to panic. looking up to the sky has been helping me lately. What am I doing lately? I'm working, I'm hula hooping. I'm not going to make this all about how hula hooping isn't just a child's toy (it's not), but I just wanted to share that it's an activity I do, along with yoga, that helps to calm my racing mind. I'm more focused on my movements and my body than I am the irrational thoughts plaguing me. I've been hooping less than a year, but I was asked to be featured at Duara Blog, a space for hoopers of color. It's something I was looking for when I initially started and didn't really find until DUARA. The feature is right here. This week, I'll be helping a fellow hooper create her promotional video. Sarahjo is an incredible flow artist and performer. Check out her page here! She's also the sweetest lady.

Life has definitely been throwing some curveballs to me and hooping and yoga have helped me to deal with those curveballs. So has looking up at the sky. It's so large and vast that my problems are so small.


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